As expected, we got another Weeknd album bomb. Turns out I didn't really need to review the album anyway, since I'll get to talk about every song here. If you're wondering, I give it a 6/10. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to get Starboy to number 1. Sigh. Oh, and there's also some Moana songs too. I'll be seeing that movie on Saturday. Hope it's good! HIGHLIGHTS TIME!
Top 20
1. Black Beatles by Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane (1) (Biggest Airplay Gainer)
2. Starboy by The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk (3)
3. Closer by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey (2)
4. Side To Side by Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj (6)
5. 24K Magic by Bruno Mars (4)
6. Juju On That Beat (TZ Anthem) by Zay Hilfigerrr & Zayion McCall (5)
7. Let Me Love You by DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber (8)
8. Don't Wanna Know by Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar (10)
9. Heathens by twenty one pilots (7)
10. Broccoli by D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty (9)
11. Fake Love by Drake (11)
12. Starving by Hailee Steinfeld & Grey ft. Zedd (13)
13. i hate u i love u by gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien (14)
14. Caroline by Aminé (12)
15. Scars To Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara (15)
16. Party Monster by The Weeknd ft. Lana Del Rey (39) (Biggest Streaming Gainer)
17. Bad Things by Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello (28) (Biggest Digital Sales Gainer)
18. The Greatest by Sia ft. Kendrick Lamar (18)
19. Cold Water by Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber & MØ (16)
20. Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes (17)
Fell Off Top 20
21. Unsteady by X Ambassadors (20)
25. Can't Stop The Feeling! by Justin Timberlake (19)
Big Gains (10+)
16. Party Monster by The Weeknd (39)
17. Bad Things by Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello (28)
22. I Feel It Coming by The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk (48)
Moderate Gains (5 - 9)
49. Bad And Boujee by Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert (54)
56. Hallelujah by Pentatonix (65)
Big Losses (10+)
37. Do You Mind by DJ Khaled ft. Nicki Minaj, Chris Brown, August Alsina, Jeremih, Future, & Rick Ross
40. This Town by Niall Horan (29)
50. Mercy by Shawn Mendes (35)
53. Love Me Now by John Legend (43)
54. Used To This by Future ft. Drake (40)
62. Tiimmy Turner by Desiigner (45)
63. Sleep Without You by Brett Young (47)
66. Sneakin' by Drake ft. 21 Savage (50)
73. Too Much Sauce by DJ ESCO ft. Future & Lil Uzi Vert (62)
74. Middle Of A Memory by Cole Swindell (58)
75. 1 Night by Lil Yachty (55)
77. HandClap by Fitz And The Tantrums (63)
80. Better Man by Little Big Town (69)
81. Setting The World On Fire by Kenny Chesney ft. Pink (67)
82. All We Know by The Chainsmokers ft. Phoebe Ryan (66)
84. That's My Girl by Fifth Harmony (73)
87. A Little More Summertime by Jason Aldean (64)
90. Chantaje by Shakira ft. Maluma (77)
94. Look Alive by Rae Sremmurd (72)
95. What They Want by Russ (83)
96. Fade by Kanye West ft. Ty Dolla $ign & Post Malone (71)
97. Capsize by Frenship & Emily Warren (84)
Moderate Losses (5 - 9)
25. Can't Stop The Feeling! by Justin Timberlake (19)
29. Don't Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya (23)
32. Blue Ain't Your Color by Keith Urban (25)
33. This Is What You Came For by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna (26)
36. Chill Bill by Rob $tone ft. J. Davi$ & Spooks (30)
38. Ride by twenty one pilots (31)
39. May We All by Florida Georgia Line ft. Tim McGraw (33)
41. X by 21 Savage & Metro Boomin ft. Future (36)
45. One Dance by Drake ft. WizKid & Kyla (37)
57. You Was Right by Lil Uzi Vert (52)
58. Pick Up The Phone by Young Thug & Travis Scott ft. Quavo (49)
65. Fresh Eyes by Andy Grammer (59)
70. No Heart by 21 Savage & Metro Boomin (61)
76. Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur (76)
79. Dirty Laundry by Carrie Underwood (70)
89. Selfish by PnB Rock (81)
99. My S**t by A Bigg Wit da Hoodie (93)
100. Sex With Me by Rihanna (95)
Dropouts
- Gold by Kiiara (41, 27 weeks)
- Sucker For Pain by Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons w/Logic, Ty Dolla $ign & X Ambassadors (42, 22 weeks)
- Panda by Desiigner (44, 40 weeks)
- LUV by Tory Lanez (46, 22 weeks)
- Love On The Weekend by John Mayer (53, 1 week)
- My Way by Calvin Harris (74, 10 weeks)
- Redbone by Childish Gambino (75, 1 week)
- Ain't My Fault by Zara Larsson (76, 7 weeks)
- Move by Luke Bryan (78, 14 weeks)
- That's What I Like by Bruno Mars (79, 1 week)
- Key To The Streets by YFN Lucci ft. Migos & Trouble (85, 10 weeks)
- Slumber Party by Britney Spears ft. Tinashe (86, 1 week)
- Vice by Miranda Lambert (88, 19 weeks)
- Litty by Meek Mill ft. Tory Lanez (85, 4 weeks)
- PPAP (Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen) by PIKOTARO (90, 4 weeks)
- Play That Song by Train (91, 1 week)
- Kill A Word by Eric Church ft. Rhiannon Giddens (94, 2 weeks)
- Greenlight by Pitbull ft. Flo Rida & LunchMoney Lewis (96, 4 weeks)
- Infinite by Eminem (97, 1 week)
- Versace On The Floor by Bruno Mars (98, 1 week)
- Parachute by Chris Stapleton (99, 1 week)
- 80 Mercedes by Maren Morris (100, 6 weeks)
Returning Entires
23. All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey
55. False Alarm by The Weeknd
New Entries
27. Sidewalks by The Weeknd ft. Kendrick Lamar
31. Reminder by The Weeknd
34. Six Feet Under by The Weeknd ft. Future
43. Die For You by The Weeknd
44. Rockin' by The Weeknd
46. All I Know by The Weeknd ft. Future
47. Secrets by The Weeknd
48. True Colors by The Weeknd
52. How Far I'll Go by Auli'i Cravalho
61. Stargirl Interlude by The Weeknd ft. Lana Del Rey
67. Attention by The Weeknd
68. Nothing Without You by The Weeknd
69. A Lonely Night by The Weeknd
71. Love To Lay by The Weeknd
72. Ordinary Life by The Weeknd
83. You're Welcome by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
85. Distraction by Kehlani
88. How Far I'll Go by Alessia Cara
93. We Know The Way by Opetaia Foa'i & Lin-Manuel Miranda
98. Make Me (Cry) by Noah Cyrus ft. Labrinth
New and Returning Entries Ranked
1. False Alarm
This is it. This is the last chance this song has to become a hit. Please, don't let me down, America. It's the best song off Starboy, we need this. Let's start 2017 strong.
2. Sidewalks
That. Guitar. Seriously, those temolos are fantastic. You can tell that Kendrick Lamar had more influence on this track than just providing a guest verse. Oddly, his brand of blues rock-influenced R&B/rap works great with The Weeknd's autotune. Kendrick's verse itself is great. I'm glad this was the highest charting song from the Starboy album bomb. It gets better every time I hear it.
3. Ordinary Life
Yeah, the last third of Starboy is by far the weakest. But damn this song is still great. Even though The Weeknd's doing his default flow, it's still slick and sensual with the synths and trap drums. Even though it's not a sex song. It's more about the regret of leading a self-destructive, hedonistic lifestyle. This ain't ordinary life.
4. Six Feet Under
By far the better Future collab on this album. Thematically it's similar to Beyoncé's "6 Inch", which makes sense since The Weeknd was on that too. Stripper working for a living. This is dark and stylish, and Future's part on the hook is just the icing on the cake. Great track. Underrated as hell.
5. Reminder
This song was apparently aimed to address critics. He wants to assure them he's still a drug-riddled, hedonistic asshole. Okay? This is one of the better down-tempo tracks on the album, with the tight groove and that one little synthline in the background. Fantastic. Love it.
6. You're Welcome
The Rock is charting. That is hilarious to me. And his solo in Moana is a showtune where his character is narcissistic and patronizing to the female lead. Yeah, I don't usually like narcissistic songs, but it's a soundtrack piece that probably works with the plot. And it's kinda funny too. Also, didn't know The Rock could sing like that.
7. How Far I'll Go (Auli'i Cravalho)
The song I'm sure will go down as Moana's "Let It Go". It's sung by the film's star, after all. It's epic and sweeping, got plenty of soundtrack appeal with the uplifting tone and lyrics. And unlike with "Let It Go", I don't see it grating on me. At least not yet.
8. How Far I'll Go (Alessia Cara)
Makes sense that Disney would want Alessia Cara to cover one of Moana's songs. This version is more pop-heavy than the version in the film itself, but that makes sense given that's the lane Alessia kinda plays in. For that reason, I prefer the original a little more. Ah well. Still good.
9. Secrets
Apparently this was originally meant to be a country song. I kinda hear it in the verses, though it's decidedly new wave now. Especially since its chorus' lyrics are straight from The Romantics' "Talking In Your Sleep". Still, it's energetic and fun. Not the best funk offering on the album, but still up there. If only more of the album had stuff like this.
10. All I Want For Christmas Is You
Merry Christmas. Good song. I've already been hearing covers of this song at work. It is very Christmas song. I kinda want this to hit the Top 10 this year, just because of how funny that would be. Also because it hit Number 11 last year.
11. Love To Lay
Here, The Weeknd mistakes sex for love, and things get frustrating for him because of that. It's very funky and slick. Got some power. Good stuff. About mid-tier for the album.
12. Make Me (Cry)
So, Labrinth was on the worst song from Mike Posner's At Night, Alone. So I didn't really know what to expect. And, well, this is kinda off-kilter, but a neat listen. Duets about conflicting relationships are nothing new, but this does have a unique edge to it. It feels disjointed, but still coherent. Dunno if I'd return to it that much, but I do like it.
13. Distraction
I wasn't "CRZY" about Kehlani's other charting songs. But this is fine. Not fantastic, but Kehlani works surprisingly well in a sensual vibe. Even with all the autotune and more abrasive production elements. Yeah, I'll take it. More like this, please.
14. We Know The Way
Definitely a good sailing song. Topical style that feels in tune with Moana's culture. And typical soundtrack stuff. I don't really have a lot to say about it. Maybe I'll need to see the movie to appreciate it more.
15. Die For You
I guess there's something here. I honestly find this one of the least memorable tracks on the album. Even if it is about a breakup, I think. Decent synths, explosive chorus. Kinda. But it doesn't really rise above being just decent.
16. A Lonely Night
I think this is a sequel to "Love To Lay", only the shoe's on the other foot. Abel had a one night stand but finds the need to call it off. It's also in a funk vein like "Love To Lay", but I dunno. The overproduction kinda kills it. It's still decent, but it's only that really. I wish that guitar/synth/I don't know solo lasted a little longer.
17. Stargirl Interlude
I usually have an issue with interludes on albums, but I don't mind this one. Yes, it's a slower track, but it's short and doesn't overstay its welcome. Lana Del Rey sounds find against the synths and drums. It also makes sense that there would be a female counterpart to The Weeknd here. Way better than "Prisoner" from Beauty Behind The Madness.
18. True Colors
One of the slower songs on the albums, but it succeeds at being sensual. It's mostly for that synth bit that plays after Abel sings the title line. Fine song, but it feels a bit redundant in that it comes right after "Secrets", which deals with the same themes of wanting to learn more about this girl he's met. Decent song, but could've been cut.
19. Rockin'
Oh how I wish this was better. Because it's funky and upbeat. And it's about wanting to go steady with a girl rather than going too fast. Those are both positives. But the production is awful. It's "intz intz"-like and kinda ugly. This could've been the "Can't Feel My Face" of the album, but instead it's the worst funk offering it has. It gives my ears audio blue balls. Blue ears? Blue ears.
20. Nothing Without You
Ahhhh, kinda forgot about this song. It's about desperation for love, which is in line with the themes of Starboy. But, this isn't very good. It's sludgy and sloppy. It kinda slams the breaks on the way to the end of the album. One of its weakest offerings by far. "Love To Lay" does its job way better.
21. Attention
This isn't very good. It's one of the slower tracks on the album with a weak synth part. That vocal bit that I think is Cashmere Cat is kinda irritating. Plus Abel's kinda being a dick to the girl he's singing to. I guess it's kinda in line with the themes of Starboy, being famous and hedonistic, but it's still kinda infuriating. This could've and should've been cut.
22. All I Know
The worst song on the album is among the ones that break the Top 50. Go figure. This song goes at a snail's pace and the bass is really ugly. Thematically, The Weeknd's trying to comfort a girl who's scared of him, I think. Not a bad concept. I just wish it wasn't so boring. Plus, Future...mmhmm. Future. Definitely the worst Weeknd/Future joint.
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